He has made it plain to us...

I'm not too sure if anyone reads this anymore, but it doesn't really matter. Sometimes it's just nice to sit down and write. It's interesting looking back and realizing all that has changed since arriving back home. It's already been a year since I left for YWAM! It is hard imagining that so much time has passed. I remember not being able to wait to get back home to my family and friends and to start back into my life with new determination and goals. Now I'm not saying that has changed but I won't lie and say that everything has gone the way I pictured it would. Although I suppose things never do work out the way we plan do they?
I thank God for the wonderful people in my life but I can't help but feel disconnected now. My experience in YWAM was a complicated one. I both miss it and am extremely thankful that it is over. I had a difficult time seeing eye to eye with many people at my base and yet I miss them. When I returned home I felt so full of new life and ready to share what God had done for me! I have not forgotten what I experienced but more so that while I am full in new ways I am now empty in ways I was not before. Or at least I hadn't taken the time to notice I was prior to my trip. Any person who has done a DTS will tell you that it is a tough time trying to relate with people after returning home.
I am still me. I am still Kaitlyn Vaccaro the young adult, sassy, private, and sometimes too emotional me. So why is it I can't seem to fit in the way I used to? Please understand I am not complaining, more like I am just questioning what is it exactly that has changed?
So often I want to just scream out all that God has done for me. I want to explain how it feels when He is loving me so much I can't breathe. I pray so often that God will give me the strength, wisdom, and words to help me describe what he means to me and that others might listen. Many people I know and love dearly will listen but won't hear...or I just get too scared that they won't care which is a huge fault on my part. It breaks my heart just thinking about someone to not know this feeling.
It has been on my mind lately how much our world needs God in their lives. And all the while watching people blatantly ignoring His presence. He has made Himself plain to us. I know I am no better at this. So often I choose to ignore God so I can do something else that sounds better at the time, only coming to realize that nothing is or ever will be better. There are times when I will see something so simple and be blown away by His glory and beauty! It is shocking and wonderful!
I know I am rambling. I suppose I have had much on my mind. Well until another day. God Bless <3

I'm Home!!!

Hello everyone!!!

Alright so I have now been home for one week and 3 days and I couldn't be happier :D...but I will get into that later.

I believe I left you all off right after graduation. I was one of the last people to leave the base which was nice and sucky (I know that is not a word :P) at the same time. I got to hang out with almost everyone a bit longer, but I also had to stick through almost all of the tearful goodbyes. It was difficult to say goodbye to everyone, but I was so excited to start my next adventure. That Monday morning I left to get on the train to Glasgow airport where I would wait for about 3 hours for my first flight to London and then when I got to London I got to wait for yet another 3 hours for my flight to Belfast, Ireland. To my great surprise I actually arrived in Belfast and managed to find my way to my hostel without getting incredibly lost :D Yay me!!!

My first hostel was Lagan Backpackers where I stayed for 4 nights. While I was there I became friends with all the staff and one of the staff's friends :D I wound up hanging out with them every night...I had so much fun! While in Belfast I visited the peace wall and went on the Giants Causeway tour. I also visited the botanical gardens and of coarse some of the local pubs :) Belfast is an amazing city and I really hope I get to go back some day.

After Belfast I hopped on a bus to go to a lovely sea side village in Northern Ireland called Newcastle. This visit was the main reason I decided to even go to Ireland. About an hours walk away from Newcastle is a place called Tollymoore Forest Park and this is where I wanted to go most of all. This park was by far one of the most beautiful and most GREEN places I have ever seen in my life. I have posted lots and lots of picture on facebook already of everything :) I used my time in that park to spend some amazing quality time with God...and I loved and needed every second of it :D

When my time in Newcastle was done I hopped on yet another bus and headed to Dublin. When I got there things did not go quite as smoothly as they could have haha. I had to switch currency from the pound to the euro seeing as I was no longer in Northern Ireland but in the Republic, and then I had to find my way to the hostel. The directions sounded easy but this city was a lot bigger and a lot more confusing than the rest I had been in before. In the end with all my bags I decided to give up on finding a bus and took a cab lol. I arrived at my hostel which actually felt more like a really hip hotel. There was a lift (elevator) and key cards and a cafe. The only thing making it not a hotel was that I had roommates and public bathrooms haha. My time in Dublin was a bit more relaxed seeing as I had nothing planned. I wound up exploring the Temple Bar District a bit and of coarse made a visit to the Guinness Factory!!! I poured a "perfect" pint of Guinness and got a certificate for it which I am quite proud of :P

The day had finally come where I got to go home!!! Unfortunately due to the latest airport shuttle leaving at 6:20am I had to arrive at the airport a whole 7 hours too early!!! I flew from Dublin to Boston, Boston to Denver, and Denver to Fresno. I cannot even begin to explain how excited I was when I landed in Boston. I believe I had one of the dumbest grins on my face of all time because of the simple fact that I was back in America...and of coarse that my phone worked again :P hahaha!

So after a loooooooong day traveling I arrived in Fresno. I was both unbelievably exhausted and anxious when I finally got to Fresno! Walking into the terminal I knew that my parents and my friend Leah would be there to greet me so it was everything I could do to not sprint through the terminal area. However, when I walked into the main building I was greeted not only by them but also by my friend Sarah :D Needless to say I was a puddle...a laughing puddle haha! I was laughing, smiling, and crying my eyes out while trying to give everyone hugs simultaneously :P I couldn't believe I was actually getting to hug my parents again!!! After I was able to calm down we got in the car and went to Taco Bell of coarse lol!

Now most of the hype has died down but occasionally I will find myself marvelling at just how amazing it is to be back home...or just how wonderful it feels to hug my mom and I have to hold on for just one more minute. Since I've been home I have gotten to hang with my family, play with my nieces, and catch up with friends. Not to mention talk to school counselors and look for a job. Everyday life is calling me back and while that may seem so ordinary compared to what I have been doing I am so excited to see what I can make of it...and I will hopefully have the encouragement from all of you to keep pushing for greater things.

I learned so much while I was away with YWAM it has actually seemed difficult to try and sort it all out. I'm sure there are things I haven't even realized yet but there are a few that immediately come to mind. God has shown me his love. He has shown me his love for his people and for me :D God had been teaching me how to open up and trust again. I believe that a big part of this time was so God could teach me about myself and who I am in Him. He has shown me just how much passion I have built up inside of me and has shown me what I can use it for! He has revealed to me how I view the world and how that can be beneficial or destructive depending on which lens I choose to use. There is so much but there is one thing I know for sure :) I know God sent me out for a reason, and while I know some of that reason...I know that I will continue learning more of why in the future. But God has also called me back for a reason and I know that He will be with me every step of the way :D

God bless you all and thank you for being with me on my journey :D I'll be around now if you have anything to ask me about or just chat! So happy to be home I have missed you all so much! Thank you for all your prayers and support they have meant the world to me.

-Kaitlyn Vaccaro

Graduated!!!

Hello everyone!

First off I am so sorry that I haven't written in so long. Since getting back from Turkey things have been extremely hectic and busy! Our first week back was entirely set on debriefing us from our 8 week long outreach. Basically it gave us a chance to sit down as an entire group and discuss what happened while on outreach and anything in particular that we wanted to bring out into the open. A lot of things were brought up and it was extremely helpful to get a chance to openly talk about how we felt during the entire time of outreach.

Our second week we had lectures on 'Purpose and Calling'. We talked about hearing from God about what we should be doing next in our lives after DTS is over and also possibly figuring out a long term goal. It was helpful to listen to their suggestions and also to hear their encouragements and faith in us all. That Thursday we all had to prepare a 10 minute speech on a passion of ours that God has sparked in us during this school. I was surprised at how quickly I was able to pick out what I wanted to talk about. God has really been building up my heart for teenagers/youth throughout this school. I also feel like I am supposed to go back to university and possibly study psychology :) I got a change to speak out loud the love and passion I hold for the youth of today...not to mention I got to hear all of my other classmates talk about what they are passionate about! It was an amazing thing to get to hear even more of my classmates hearts and how God has inspired them :)

At the beginning of our third week it really started to hit us all that we were starting a long list of lasts times. Last work duties, last lectures, last times being together as an entire group...it goes on. Some were excited while others were sad but all in all it was very exciting. Monday and Tuesday we talked about going home. Our leaders gave us all some very good advice about how to process counter culture shock and how transitioning from an environment like DTS back into everyday life can be difficult. Those two days were jam packed with our feelings about going home and practical advice about how to handle all the possible situations we might face once back home.

Wednesday was here...Graduation Day!!!!! We all woke up and headed into the Arran Lounge where the staff were meeting that day. They split us into groups and had all the staff pray for us, and pretty much send us off to where ever we might go after DTS. After that we broke off and started to clean! Even though some of us are staying for a few extra days, we all had to pack our bags and deep clean our rooms...plus some extra spaces around the base to bless the larger community. That took up almost the whole day (this is a very large building haha) and then with 2 hours left all the girls ran upstairs to get clean after cleaning and get ready to graduate!

The dining room was set up beautifully and it went very nicely with all the people dressed up beautifully as well :) Our DTS leader, Lee Howard, made us a delicious dinner with cheesecake for dessert!!! During the actual graduation we gave thanks to the many people who helped out our school throughout the last 5 months and our leaders said some lovely things about our school as parting words. Once that was over the leaders called us up one by one to give us our graduation certificates and we each had to grab the mic. and give a 3 minute testimony about something God has done in our lives during DTS. It was wonderful to hear every ones testimonies (Eileens made me cry haha). I talked about how God has been restoring my faith and trust in Him in many different ways :) It was a great moment to be able to tell a group of people how much God has done for me in my life in such a short amount of time!

After the testimonies they called us up and we were prayed for by the base leader and then we were led in a short time of worship. Then the pictures started haha! We took lots of pictures and let a Chinese paper lantern loose into the skies (funny story...ask me about it later if you want to know more haha), and then we all gathered in our newly cleaned classroom to sit and have time as a school. We talked about our favorite memories and what we could remember from our first day...it was a lot of fun :)

Today we decided we wanted to spend our last day as a group together so our leaders were lovely and drove us all into Glasgow to an art museum. The art was beautiful and I got to see a man play the biggest pipe organ I have ever seen in my life!!! Then we went into the west end of Glasgow and had lunch and went to some local shops. It was a nice relaxing day and I am glad to have gotten the chance to go out with everyone one last time :)

Tomorrow the first of us leaves...Jess is heading back to South Africa at 10am, and Jared and David head out tomorrow evening. Over the next few days people will be leaving slowly and there will be many goodbyes to be said :( I will be leaving Seamill on Monday morning around 7am to catch a train to Glasgow Airport and start my journey to Ireland!!! I will be in Ireland for a total of 8 days and will be flying back home out of Dublin on July 14th :D Personally I am so excited to come home and start this next journey of my life knowing that God is right there with me to help me through :)

Well folks that is all I have for you right now but I will be home in less than 2 weeks now so if there are any questions I will be around to answer them soon haha. I love and miss you all and will try to write again soon depending on how the Internet is in the hostels I stay at haha! God bless!!! Bye :)

-Kaitlyn xoxo

Outreach is over!!!

Hello everyone!!

Wow, I haven't written on here in almost 2 months and I am so sorry about that :( Unfortunately while we were in Turkey to keep us more focused they limited our computer time to 1 1/2 hours a week. I would have written on my blog but I wanted that hour and a half to talk with my family on skype so I apologize if you have been wondering what was going on.

Ok! So I am officially back in Scotland now! We arrived in Glasgow last night around 9:45pm. The flights went very smoothly and I am very happy to be back in the small village of West Kilbride. :)

OH Turkey...what can I say about you?! Istanbul is an interesting place...it honestly feels like any giant city you would find, except there are mosques EVERYWHERE!!! In fact the flats we were staying in had a mosque right next to it. I don't know if any of you know that in the Muslim faith they have to pray 5 times a day. In order to make sure they remember the exact times when they should pray the imam(Muslim priest) sounds the call to prayer from loud speakers at the top spire of the mosque. One of the times when this happens is around 5 am....and it is LOUD!!! So in case you haven't caught on...every morning at 5 we were all woken up by the insanely loud call to prayer hahaha!

Also I did get to go see the Blue Mosque and the Hagia of Sophia (one of the seven wonders of the world) and the Topkapi Palace! They were absolutely breathtaking! The artwork is amazing...I will be posting pictures soon I hope :) Oh and we also got to go to Ephesus which was brilliant! It was so cool to be in a place so old. The ruins were something to behold :)

As far as our ministry went...I'm going to try and explain this without sounding really chaotic haha. Our weeks were fairly structured with a specific schedule. I'll tell about my week because we all seemed to have a different one. Sundays we would go to church and some of us would help with the worship (it was a church for long term workers in Istanbul). Mondays I was part of a prayer team that would go and pray around the city (I loved Mondays). Tuesdays were our days off which were much needed because we only had one day off a week. Wednesdays was doing local EV (evangelism) work around the city. It never looked the same twice haha. Thursdays we would go to a place called the Jubilee Cafe and would pray and worship there for awhile before going out to do more EV work in the afternoon. Fridays I would help out with a Jewelry ministry. Refugee women make the jewelry and then we would go over to a ladies house and check to make sure they jewelry was up to standard and then label and package it so it could be sold and they would make money. Fridays were my favorite day :) Then last but not least Saturdays I would go out with a small group and do EV work in the city wherever God seemed to be calling us to go.

I know this is a somewhat vague description of what we would do but seeing as I just got back to Scotland my brain kind of hurts trying to remember every little thing we did haha! :P Overall it was a great trip and I consider it a complete success :) God did amazing things and He really did teach me a lot about different cultures.

Now we have 2 1/2 weeks left here to talk about what we learned and what we feel like God is calling us to do when we get back home. Then I have about a week and a half of Scotland and then Ireland after that and then I come home on July 14!!!

I will write again soon with more details of how Istanbul was but at the moment I am still trying to get unpacked and organized in my thoughts haha! I miss you all so much and I will talk to you again soon :) God bless you all!!!

-Kaitlyn

Quick Update

Hello Everyone! Just a quick update since I don't have so much Internet time around here. Things are going very well. We are helping out all around the city :) I love it since I love volunteer work. The only downer is that it is soooooo hot around here right now. Summer has arrived in full force and you can especially feel it while riding on a crowded bus in the middle of the day haha!

Next week we have a long weekend and they are taking our whole group to Ephesus for 3 days. It will take 10 hours to get there but I am excited since so much history is there. Oh and I made a friend today named Rabia and I can't wait to meet her again. That is all the time I have for now will update again soon if I can. Love and miss you all!!

-Kaitlyn

In Istanbul!!!

Hello everyone!

I am so sorry it has taken me so gosh darn long to write on here again but we have been busy to say the least. Ok so we arrived in Istanbul 2 Saturdays ago ha I can't remember the date. Well anyway...we arrived around 2am Turkey time :P and then drove to our new home. We are staying in two separate flats (one right on top of the other). They are actually very nice flats and we are in a pretty good area...very close to a lot of stuff. Unfortunately there is a mosque very near our flats so the call to prayer goes off every morning around 5am...ugh! I'm starting to get used to it but most of the time it will wake me up haha!

Our first week here went pretty good :) The city is beautiful and there is a lot to see! Sometimes it seems like any other city until you get a good look from a high place and see all the mosques! They are absolutely everywhere haha. Even though I am not a Muslim I cannot deny the beauty of those buildings...they are gorgeous. One fun thing has been that because we don't have cars over here our group has to take the bus everywhere. Oh my....Turkish buses are extreme. Rarely do you actually get a seat so you are stuck squished between a bunch of hot and sweaty people trying really hard not to fall over because these Turkish bus drivers LOVE the brake and gas pedals!!! And just in case that isn't difficult enough us girls are not supposed to look men in the eyes because being western women that would be considered us making an advance lol....so while we are trying desperately to keep our balance in a crowded (and I mean crowded) bus we are also having to keep our eyes lowered lol....most of us have become accustomed to wearing sunglasses on the bus, it makes things a bit easier :)

One of our days last week we got to go out and see the Blue Mosque...oh my was that amazing! I took lots of pictures so don't you worry :) That building was so huge and detailed I was left speechless! Along with seeing the Blue Mosque we have also had some opportunities to just explore Istanbul which has been equally fun and stressful trying to find our way around in a place that speaks no English haha. Basically everyone here has adopted carrying around a Turkish/English dictionary with us wherever we go :) While here we still have work duties and I am part of the food crew. So it is our job to come up with menu's and to do all the shopping...I am starting to get the hang of figuring out a grocery store where everything is written in Turkish haha. Oh and if anyone has any good recipe ideas that can serve 9 people that isn't crazy expensive send them to me at Ldnhappy22@hotmail.com Thanks :)

We have gotten to work with a group that makes jewelry (lots of fun) and we also got to go to a picnic with an English club and I got to chat with this really nice Turkish man for awhile :) Oh and yesterday my group met this really nice Turkish lady who spoke no English but got really excited when she found out I'm from California and invited us all to tea next Sunday at her house :D I'm pretty excited I hope that we get to go! Other than that we are still getting into the groove of things and starting to get a regular schedule. I can't wait to see what amazing things will happen :) I love and miss you all so so much...I really hope everything is going great for you back home!
-Kaitlyn

Still In Scotland

Hello everyone!

Oh how plans have been changing! Haha! Flexible has been the theme of this last week. SO for those of you who don't know my team was supposed to leave for Turkey last Saturday but due to a volcano erupting in Iceland all flights were grounded and we were not able to leave. Since then we have been trying to book a new flight to Istanbul but things have not been going so smoothly. As of now...we are booked on a flight for this coming Saturday so if you could please be praying that that does actually happen haha. We are all feeling very ready to leave and go to Turkey :) Other than that things have been really good. Technically outreach has still started so we have been helping out around the Seamill base with cleaning and other practicalities. Along with that we have been doing quite a lot of worship and prayer times a long with some extra lectures from a few guest speakers so that has actually been pretty fun :) Right now we are pretty much relying on God to tell us what to do next haha which is the whole point right?! :D I know this post is extremely short but I have limited time on the internet now so I will have to leave you with that. God Bless you all and please keep my team in your prayers and that we will make it to Turkey safely on Saturday! Love and miss you all!!!

-Kaitlyn