He has made it plain to us...

I'm not too sure if anyone reads this anymore, but it doesn't really matter. Sometimes it's just nice to sit down and write. It's interesting looking back and realizing all that has changed since arriving back home. It's already been a year since I left for YWAM! It is hard imagining that so much time has passed. I remember not being able to wait to get back home to my family and friends and to start back into my life with new determination and goals. Now I'm not saying that has changed but I won't lie and say that everything has gone the way I pictured it would. Although I suppose things never do work out the way we plan do they?
I thank God for the wonderful people in my life but I can't help but feel disconnected now. My experience in YWAM was a complicated one. I both miss it and am extremely thankful that it is over. I had a difficult time seeing eye to eye with many people at my base and yet I miss them. When I returned home I felt so full of new life and ready to share what God had done for me! I have not forgotten what I experienced but more so that while I am full in new ways I am now empty in ways I was not before. Or at least I hadn't taken the time to notice I was prior to my trip. Any person who has done a DTS will tell you that it is a tough time trying to relate with people after returning home.
I am still me. I am still Kaitlyn Vaccaro the young adult, sassy, private, and sometimes too emotional me. So why is it I can't seem to fit in the way I used to? Please understand I am not complaining, more like I am just questioning what is it exactly that has changed?
So often I want to just scream out all that God has done for me. I want to explain how it feels when He is loving me so much I can't breathe. I pray so often that God will give me the strength, wisdom, and words to help me describe what he means to me and that others might listen. Many people I know and love dearly will listen but won't hear...or I just get too scared that they won't care which is a huge fault on my part. It breaks my heart just thinking about someone to not know this feeling.
It has been on my mind lately how much our world needs God in their lives. And all the while watching people blatantly ignoring His presence. He has made Himself plain to us. I know I am no better at this. So often I choose to ignore God so I can do something else that sounds better at the time, only coming to realize that nothing is or ever will be better. There are times when I will see something so simple and be blown away by His glory and beauty! It is shocking and wonderful!
I know I am rambling. I suppose I have had much on my mind. Well until another day. God Bless <3